Having just finished her freshmen year at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), Miso was like any other college student, still recovering from the demands of finals week. She wanted me to know from the beginning that she is like any other Asian American woman growing in her faith, trying to figure out how she can best serve God with what He has provided for her. But, she had wanted to give up many times. And even more often than that, she had wished that she could see. 

Born prematurely and blind from birth, Miso was surrounded by support and acceptance throughout her early life, so being blind did not seem insurmountable. However, the struggles and obstacles really set in when she immigrated with her family to the United States in middle school. Not only was Miso dealing with her visual impairment, but she was also struggling to learn a new language, on top of adjusting to the American way of life. And, for the first time, she was the only blind student in her class. 

By high school, Miso’s English was good enough for her to enroll in honor classes. She was determined to take the most challenging classes in order to get into the high-ranking schools she and her parents wanted. However, she was not only struggling with learning in her second language, but was also grappling with her inability to access printed materials, diagrams, and other academic-related contents. 

To “see” a map in world history, she had to get a tactile map, sit down, read through descriptions, and touch the map. And this was a best case scenario. If a tactile map was not available, she had to listen to a teacher walk her through the map, instead of touching to “see” it. 

To earn an “A” in geometry class, Miso struggled with the material in ways others never did. There was no pre-made Braille textbook, so the school district had to convert all the course materials, including the textbook, into Braille. Seventy percent of the textbook was made up of diagrams, which had to be turned into raised tactile print. Sometimes materials came in late or diagrams were inaccurate, which was frustrating for her because class had to move at a certain pace, whether she was able to catch up or not. 

Soon, Miso and her family had moved to a school with a marching band that parades competitively. She joined the marching band, and experienced a breaking point in her life. Being in a competitive parade band meant that every step, every note, her posture, shako angle, and her uniform’s cleanliness counted. She had a guider but essentially she was the one executing the movement of marching and performing to the music. She was terrified that she might not be a positive contribution for the band. As much as she wanted to march, she felt that if withdrawing from the competitive block would help the band’s overall performance, that’s what she should do.

She finally admitted her feelings to her band director, telling him that there were many times she wished for sight, and that she was ready to quit marching band. God, however, used this opportunity to encourage Miso, as well as others, that what the world sees as weak or disadvantageous, He actually sees as strong and purposeful. Marching band is not about one person, but it’s a team effort, and God used her band director to tell her that her hard work and perseverance motivated other students to work harder.

When she was voted section leader some time later, the same familiar fear of not being able to meet expectations crept into her mind. When she tried to resign from the position, the same director challenged Miso in her views of what leadership looks like and what makes a good leader. It was not just leading the section well or cleaning up the band room, he said. But a good leader encourages as well as inspires others around them to be better people. 

The words of her band director were definitely encouraging because they helped Miso gain a different perspective of what she can and cannot do. Nonetheless, similar to the constant reminders we believers need periodically in regard to our faith, God did not cease to use people in Miso’s life to remind her of her identity in Christ. She was reminded of the importance of drawing strength from God alone when circumstances became difficult. 

The summer after her sophomore year, Miso enrolled in a physics class. That summer physics class began as a great personal struggle for Miso. The class was too fast-paced and her classmates seemed to understand things much more quickly than she did, due to being able to see diagrams more clearly and accurately. A week into the class Miso told her teacher that she wanted to drop the course. 

To her surprise, her teacher responded by telling her to read the Bible and that the answer and help Miso would receive did not lie in human capabilities or solutions, but in God’s word and truth. 

After searching and reading through some passages in the book of Job, God’s truth and comfort took root and started to sink in. She ended up sticking through physics class and by the end of the class her teacher persuaded her to enroll in his AP chemistry class. God placed this teacher, who was also His servant, in Miso’s life at an opportune time to influence her growing faith and decision to follow God seriously.

Struggles and challenges definitely did not cease after her sophomore year. However, she was able to anticipate and prepare for them better because of her experiences. She realizes now that there are moments when her yearning for sight will be greater than others. She understands that it is during these times that she will have to choose to remember the lessons she learned from the previous examples, in order to focus on God and His promises. Miso admitted that the trials and the challenges of overcoming hardships were necessary in acquiring a genuine, positive attitude. She now has a much more developed perspective of who she is and how she lives her life.

Having experienced different opportunities since her family relocated, Miso explained that although there are many shortcomings in American society, blind students are given more access to equal educational opportunities and resources than in Korea. For instance, blind students and their sighted peers attend classes and participate in extracurricular activities together. In turn, she would like to share some of the experiences she has been blessed with, with individuals who do not have the same opportunities as her. 

Miso has a few ideas for post-graduation plans, such as reaching out to visually impaired and disabled students abroad via educational outreach programs, specifically English and science camps. She’s inspired to help create programs for impaired students with a close friend who founded a nonprofit organization called Accessible Science, which runs camps that give visually impaired students the opportunity to learn science. Students learn about science through other senses like smell and touch, and they learn to conduct their own experiments. 

Whatever Miso ends up doing, she knows that God has gifted her with the ability to empathize with visually impaired and disabled individuals. Empathy toward others’ situation commonly grows from similar personal experience and struggles, which parallels the description of how Jesus Christ relates to us in our sufferings in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. 

God was present in Miso’s life from the very beginning, during her move from Korea to America, and even in all the struggles she experienced. Now she praises God for blessing her with so many opportunities and resources when she came to America, and hopes to use what she has to encourage the visually impaired and students with other kinds of disabilities. She hopes that through her actions and the way she lives her life, the gospel will be displayed and others will ask about her sources of influence. 

Like the rest of us, Miso definitely has a lot of uncertainties about her future. However, she takes comfort knowing that God is like her marching band guider, directing her as she marches through life. He makes sure she is walking in the formation He wants her to be in. That is her image of God after all this time, and it gives her the sense of security and peace she needs.